sometimes all i wanna do is to cry
it might just help to flush out the pain
that has been holding up inside all these while.
is it jealousy of em' or really the bfs are that wonderful?
i couldnt differentiate any more.
i can really be alone, really i do.
but not alone without you.
can you see why now?
i cried when i learnt this regret will bug me.
i cried when i learnt i had to live with this till old age.
i cried when i learnt u might have forgotten all, including me.
i cried when i learnt how losing you could do so much to me.
i cried, i cried and i cried.
yet, the pain hasnt subside yet.
where are you now? where has it gone?
where has everything gone to now?
you are not here.
im not there.
dreams, promises and futures are bleak now.
or no longer valid at all.
tired. worn out. helpless. suffocating. lost.
its so tough to fight on without you anymore.
this one year hasnt been easy.
i am now without you.
but i really dun wanna try to be without you.
i cant do it.
im so tired of trying.
nobody could do anything.
they could not hear im shouting deep inside.
i need a rescue.
at times, this whole thing isnt real, was forgotten.
then, i remembered reality had already came true.
i must face it.
no running, no idling.
no more hanging on to smth that will never come.
indeed, this is life.
not much control to what we hoped for.
thou knowing that,
im still looking for the correct direction.
the right sign, the right signal.
alot of time, alot of space.
yet, it doesnt seem to suffice.
how long do i still need.
seriously, i have no idea.
i wanna move on very much.
but i just do not have the guts.
to have high hopes,
and fall back down again.
i just couldnt deal with it anymore.
promises do fade overtime.
you do love him/her, only at the point of time.
soon, it's all past tense.
you did love him/her.
i just cant help feeling the way i felt.