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almost a year.

its been a year,
since we separated.

wondered what will it be like,
if the truth was not discovered.
will it still be the same?
will you still love me?
will we be still happily like before?

no matter how much i wanted you back,
i really hope you're doing good.
all i wanted,
is you to be happy.

a bad feeling.

im shivering.
i got a feeling that could not shake off.
i really cant do it alone.

i miss you.

fighting alone, yet again.

its time to fight alone again.
can i really do it without you?
i have to try no matter how tired i am.
but its so tiring to try, try and try.
and i HAVE to do it.

let go, not give up.



letting you go.
but it is definitely not giving up yet.

was one, now two.




first, not last.

you were the first.
but you couldnt be the last.
you couldnt be at the finishing line now.
you wouldnt appear in my dreams now.
where are you now.
i really miss you.
all i know is,
im yearning for your return.

cry, cry and cry.

sometimes all i wanna do is to cry
it might just help to flush out the pain
that has been holding up inside all these while.

is it jealousy of em' or really the bfs are that wonderful?
i couldnt differentiate any more.
i can really be alone, really i do.
but not alone without you.
can you see why now?

i cried when i learnt this regret will bug me.
i cried when i learnt i had to live with this till old age.
i cried when i learnt u might have forgotten all, including me.
i cried when i learnt how losing you could do so much to me.
i cried, i cried and i cried.
yet, the pain hasnt subside yet.

where are you now? where has it gone?
where has everything gone to now?
you are not here.
im not there.
dreams, promises and futures are bleak now.
or no longer valid at all.

need a rescue.

tired. worn out. helpless. suffocating. lost.
its so tough to fight on without you anymore.
this one year hasnt been easy.

i am now without you.
but i really dun wanna try to be without you.
i cant do it.

im so tired of trying.
nobody could do anything.
they could not hear im shouting deep inside.
i need a rescue.

happy birthday.

happy 23rd birthday.
i hope you have really found your new happiness this time.
i hope you will be happy from now on.
i hope you will be able to walk away from our past.
i hope the smile is real this time.

no matter what you will be doing or who will you be with.
im happy to know you are happy.

the correct direction.

at times, this whole thing isnt real, was forgotten.
then, i remembered reality had already came true.
i must face it.
no running, no idling.
no more hanging on to smth that will never come.

indeed, this is life.
not much control to what we hoped for.
thou knowing that,
im still looking for the correct direction.
the right sign, the right signal.

alot of time, alot of space.
yet, it doesnt seem to suffice.
how long do i still need.
seriously, i have no idea.

i wanna move on very much.
but i just do not have the guts.
to have high hopes,
and fall back down again.
i just couldnt deal with it anymore.

and so,
promises do fade overtime.
you do love him/her, only at the point of time.
soon, it's all past tense.
you did love him/her.

i just cant help feeling the way i felt.